As I'm sitting here, drinking my coffee, scrolling through the web, while there are lots of happy stories (which are all I take time to read and focus on), I see head lines of horrible stories, dealing with just plain, mean people.
I don't really come across mean people too often, because I think you get what you give, and generally, I'm a pretty nice person. Every now and then, some person stumbles into your life that isn't really welcomed in it though and you encounter things you're uncomfortable with, like meanness.
I feel like society has kind of made being mean a "cool" trait, especially for women. I think there are a lot of subliminal messages being sent to young girls that if they want to get anywhere in this dog eat dog, man's world, they need to be mean to get what they want and I really want to squash that. It is so untrue. Sure, you may move up the ladder a few steps, by being mean, throwing people under the bus, and pushing people around, but in the end, you'll lose. And I believe that with all my heart and soul.
I think a lot of people get lost in chasing things they don't even really want and in that chase they become some one they really didn't even ever want to be! So, if you sit back and think and start to realize, "Oh my gosh. I am a mean person!" This one is for you :) Here are a few tips to help you get to the light side. The happy, helping, motivating side! The side, where you can't lose if you stay with it!
1. Every judgmental thought does not need to be shared. EVERY human being has rude thoughts about complete strangers. Stop sharing them. Even with your closest friends. Notice your harsh, judgmental thought and keep it to yourself. Soon, it won't even be hard. Those thoughts will flow in and out, without you even noticing or feeling the need to share them. A laugh at some one else's expense isn't a good laugh at all.
2. Smile when you feel like glaring. This is especially for women. I feel like we are born with a little, green monster inside of us that brings out jealousy at the weirdest times. So if you see a woman that looks like she has got "it" going on, the most appropriate reaction is to give her a dirty look. Wrong! If you notice yourself wanting to scowl at some one, smile instead. It's not fake, it's progress. And if you stop to think about it, you have no idea why you were about to throw that dirty look anyways, so just throw out a smile instead.
3. Help people. My God, HELP PEOPLE! Sometimes, I am literally dumb-founded in the grocery store parking lot, when I have cans rolling away from my grocery cart or when my actual grocery cart is rolling away about to cause an accident, a child screaming in my ear, another I'm buckling into the car seat, I lost a shoe somewhere, I'm dripping sweat, and Lord knows what else has happened, and tons of people just walk on by. So I have to sprint after my cart, while holding a child, while leaving the other child in the car with the air conditioning running and the doors wide open, probably scratching the car parked next to us, all the while trying my darndest not to collapse to my knees and start bawling. Phew! If you see a person with their hands full, open their door. If you see a woman, who looks like she didn't have time to brush her hair that morning, tell her she looks magnificent! If a person has cans of food rolling away in the grocery store parking lot, bend over, pick them up, and help the poor woman out. They will not think you're weird. They will really, really appreciate it.
4. Speak kindly. Is it so hard to say nice things? So, we've already stopped sharing the judgmental thoughts, but now, the trick is, to say kind words. When you see a pregnant woman, obviously exhausted and larger than normal due to the fact she's carrying a human being inside of her, instead of saying, "Wow! You're about to pop! Look at your swollen ankles!" How about telling her she's glowing and looks sensational. Every pregnant woman wants the glow and even if it isn't entirely true, you will make her day. And for heavens sake, when a woman isn't wearing any make up, if you notice, tell her she's naturally beautiful, do NOT say, "You look tired." The point is, when you know some one isn't looking or feeling their best, why point it out? Why not say something kind and make their day a little better?
5. Say please and thank you. Having some good ol' fashioned manners is becoming a lost art and I'm here to say, "Not up in here!" A simple 'please' and 'thank you,' go such a long way, you really can't say them enough. So say those words all the time. Say them to the people bagging your groceries, handing you your Taco Bell, holding the elevator door for you, and letting you in their lane during traffic (wave to acknowledge and thank them, PLEASE!!). When making requests, just put the simple word, 'please,' in front of it and it sounds fantastic!
6. Ignore the hate and anger. There is a lot of negative, mean energy getting tossed around in today's world and this may sound naive, but I suggest, just staying in your own happy bubble. That doesn't mean you're unaware, it just means you focus on the beauty and happiness in the world, which causes more of that positive energy. It can be a drain reading about problem after problem and leaves you feeling defeated and like 'whats the point?' So I say, avoid all that, read happy, inspiring stories (there are just as many of those as the bad ones) and you will feel uplifted and motivated to make this world a better place :).
7. Figure yourself out. From my short, 26 years, on this planet, I've noticed, people who don't really know who they are, what they're doing, or where they want to go are the angriest and sometimes, turn that anger into being mean to others. I think the absolute, best thing anyone can do for themselves and the world around them, is get to the root of their soul and chase their innate dreams. When you know who you are, you are happier with yourself and being happier with yourself causes you to be happy and kind to all others around you, because you realize we're all in this thing together!
So, there ya have it! 7 ways to be a nicer person to the immediate world around you. The world and the people in it is a magical place, you just have to focus on the good!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Skye Schanzer was born and raised in Southern California. Growing up, she spent her Summers on the sandy beaches and her Winters in the snowy mountains. She is now nestled in the hills of the Temecula Valley, with her handsome husband and two life-loving kids.
She's a writer and strives to spread positivity in everyday life through her blog, Bring The Happy. She is most at ease with that California sunshine warming her face, pen in hand, the sound of her kids laughing and husband by her side. Writing, photography, family and love is what it breaks down to. Every day is a happy adventure!