After finding love in front of millions of viewers on ABC's The Bachelor, our February Guest Editor, Catherine Lowe, is the perfect person to hang out with us for the month of love! This week, she's bringing us into her home with hubbie, Sean Lowe, to give you her tips about creating a new home with the one you love (all with the help of a few Spice Girls songs).
When I moved to Dallas, I took the essentials: my clothes and my computers. Other than that, I knew that Sean and I would create something unique to us when we found that perfect house. And when we did, we did. Our house is our most favorite place in the whole wide world because we had been planning it for so long. Little known fact, at our Canada cocktail party before the rose ceremony, our limited time together was spent frolicking (duh), laughing (double duh) and sharing the things we wanted in a home. “A big porch”…”Me too!”…giggle giggle…“I want a nice kitchen with an island”… “Oooh, that sounds nice…” What a coupla nerds.
But creating the home we wanted didn’t come as easy as reciting our dream lists. He is a southern, tidy man and I’m an eclectic, messy girl after all. Our needs sometimes didn’t match up perfectly. Luckily, there are girl bands to save the day. Anything you need to know about merging two lives together can be learned from The Spice Girls’ song “2 Become 1.” (Do not take this literally. Please keep reading.) Whether you’re moving in with someone you’re dating or you’re creating a home with your husband, there are tips that I’ve learned from experience that hopefully help you with your Relationship & Abode Fondue…all through Spice Girls lyrics.
“Empty words we both were saying”
Be honest. When you are building your special place with that special someone, be upfront about what you need. From something as specific as “I need a space where my cat poster collection will be preserved” to something as generic as “I need to feel safe”, tell him—nicely yet directly. Mine was “I need it to feel warm and ours.” If he knows what is important to you, he should respect that. If you’re moving into his place and everything still looks like a bachelor pad (har har), ask him to incorporate more of what you like into it. It is yours now too. Also, shut your mouth when it doesn’t matter. Do you really care if the curtains are that color? No? Then be supportive and move on to something that matters.
“I had a little love, now I’m back for more”
WANT to come home. You’re gonna want to go on date nights, but you should also be excited to get home. Make a space that you both absolutely adore so you can create memories together somewhere that was truly created together. Sean and I have a room that is built for comfort. It’s our TV room and we call it “The Pit” because once you’re in, you’ll never get out. This place is where we find so much joy and when we’re on the road, we have dreams about getting back to it. Form a room or space in your home that makes you feel comfortable and completely yourself. Then, go out so you can be excited to come home.
“I’ll submit to your every need but you also gotta listen to me”
(Not true lyrics, but let’s pretend. Also, should I be a songwriter or what?!)
Respect each other. The only doormat in our house is the one that says “Sup.” Neither one of us takes a backseat in the decision-making of our relationship or our house because we are both integral voices. Sean and I have been lucky enough to share a similar taste in home décor but I have (respectively) had to put my foot down when he was trying to bring his jank college guy pots and pans into my pristine kitchen. When it comes to décor, ladies don’t get too floofy on him because he’ll want to have his buddies over and you don’t want him to be the butt of every joke because of your doing. Don’t emasculate him but I’m all for bringing up the class level in your new grown up spot.
This is the space you both will call home and that in itself is pretty darn special. Enjoy the piles of dirty dishes, the toilet seat being up, the new homeowner sales pitchy mail, the 24/7 ESPN. And... all the sweet goodnight kisses. You can’t forget about those :)